This season, I became the Commissioner of a (mostly) middle-school fantasy football league: which is a lot like overseeing a big corporate project, if your project team had the volatility of a dropped soda and 90% of communication happened via GIF.

Meet the League:

·         Al Michaels: Provides detailed, and truly hilarious, commentary for everything. “The Eagles pass rush looks like an ant pounding on a steel safe.” (That’s a direct quote!)

·         The Whiner: Files more appeals than Robert Shapiro. Every trade? Suspect. Every loss? Rigged.

·         The Quiet Plotter: Makes surgical adds and drops with perfect matchup logic. Speaks five times per season and still terrifies everyone.

·         The Vibes-Driven Leader: Drops Ja’Marr Chase because “I didn’t feel a connection.”

·         The Trash-Talker: Gives TED Talks on why your team is terrible. 2–7 record. Zero shame.

·         The Trade Baiter: Sends out 14 awful trade offers before breakfast, probably hoping for an accidental “accept” click.

·         The Missing: Hasn’t made a roster move since week 1, since his Mom banned him from using the iPad. Kyler Murray is still starting.

Highlights:

·         Watching these kids draft with the intensity of NFL GMs and the snack consumption of the Packers D-line. (Two family size bags of Cool Ranch required.)

·         Hearing them discuss “long-term upside” like a seasoned financial advisor.

·         The pure agony around #1 draft pick/2024 top fantasy scorer Lamar Jackson’s underperformances (okay, that is mostly me).

Lowlights:

·         Mediating the disputes (“That trade is collusion, Mom!”)

·         The self-pitying meltdowns (“My season is over. I’m retiring at 14.”)

·         The near-constant trash talking the top performers (OK, yeah, that’s actually pretty funny.)

Despite it all, at the end of the day, we’ve got teens learning strategy, resilience, and how to navigate the emotional rollercoaster that is fantasy football, all with humor and (usually) diplomacy.

If only all teams responded this enthusiastically to GIFs of celebratory llamas. I bet we’d all be undefeated.